once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
I woke up on the side of the highway to the ppl in orange jumpsuits cleaning to comunity service. Not sure which freaked them out more... Finding a dead b ody or me not being dead
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
He told me he was 'pondering the natural wonder that is my ass'
Like, dude. I'm already fucking you, you don't need to wax poetic.
Isn't he wasted enough that he might actually mean it and not just be trying to get you to fuck him without a condom?
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
Randomize
