you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
I woke up to ritz crackers on the lawn, a keystone behind the hedge and puke on the rental car... i think that we have become that house...
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
There is nothing more demoralizing than exchanging 150 dollar Christmas gifts with a girl your not sleeping with
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
Randomize
