Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
I knew I shouldn't have slept with her...my dick looks like a stegosaurus tail
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
You just projectile vomited on my dad across the table at waffle house.
Do you think he can smell the vodka?
I need a good reason NOT to eat this entire jar of nutella right now
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
Lost my key. Fell asleep on the doorstep and got woken up by host grandma poking me with a broom.
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
Randomize
