im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
I think I just saw someone hide a body.
remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
You wore a man's plastic top hat last night.
No I didn't. Whiskey did.
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
Reasons why I love cats more than people: 1. They're not fucking people.
Her text was so long it had an arrow to expand it. You know it's bad when even your iPhone can't handle her
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
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