you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
Today's hangover is a "wear sunglasses while pooping in the dark" kind of day
I woke up on the dog bed, bottle of alcohol still in hand and my thong was hanging off the family portrait.... Yikes
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
My roommate's overnight guest is screaming about the dog licking his asshole. I need a new place to live.
The air taste purple.
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