No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
Just woke up from a first date on the futon watching Arrested Development by myself, him cuddling another chick in his room. Simultaneously the best and worst one night stand in history.
Bonus: took me 2 hours to get home on the streetcar cause I spent my cab money on drinks for his friend last night.
The lady that was sitting beside me thought the best way to cheer herself up was to pet and ruffle my hair while crying and telling me her problems...
It's okay that we broke up and all but it's not okay that he still has my Chick-fil-A calendar card. This month is free fries!
I have unfollowed so many people the only things showing up in my newsfeed are dog rescues and sloth memes
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
Randomize
