you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
If you value my life, if you value your own, please look for that godforsaken cookie. Please.
Thank god for makeup because it looks like someone took a shit on my face
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
I appreciate you letting me know that the bird died but why didn't you do something about the corpse? or at least give me a heads up that it was still in the cage..Jesus
you have no idea how hungover I am. I can't deal with death right now.
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
Randomize
