you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
Can’t fucking wait for Tuesday night. Have another situation that popped up. I swear my life is like a cross between a soap opera and a porno
Apparently during my blackout I walked over to Troy, grabbed my crotch, and said “Eat Fresh” while his GF was with him. FML
I just found my phone after looking for it since yesterday afternoon it was in the fridge.
Randomize
