My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
I'm chugging Gatorade because i drank something called a trashcan and someone named Gianna diamond has my credit card number, and I think I might have ruined my life.
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
I cannot believe this. A potential 2016 Olympiad wants my vag. To which I respond "GO FOR THE GOLD"
you have to be that girl in the audience holding up the sign that says i fucked the shit out of you
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
So TMI but just realizing I have not masturbated since trump took office. He's sucked the sex drive out of me.
Randomize