it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
I don't have any swimsuits that don't show off the weird handprint bruises on my hips. Do you have a onepiece I can borrow?
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
She asked if I could convince him so shave that shit off his face so he'll have a snowball's chance in hell of getting laid.
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
I had a dream that we had an entire sofa made out of cocaine.
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
Randomize
