I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
I keep getting texted pictures of my husband with other men. I can't figure out if he wants a divorce or a threesome?
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
You were so drunk last night you left the bar to go buy a razor so you could go home with him
i ended up making out with my new neighbor in a stranger's car that we found unlocked on a driveway somewhere. apparently drunk self never say "no" to adventure.
I just wish I had a snapshot of his attempted front flip off the bar. There are some things that are worth getting a life ban for, and the moment of impact with his foot and that lady's face was one of those things.
Some girls wake up to good morning texts. I wake up to pictures of an angry Shrek getting a blowjob.
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
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