My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
My sister was not impressed when she got here. I was standing in the doorway in my underwear drinking a beer. At 2pm. On a Monday.
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
I just elbowed a roll of wrapping paper, and said “ohh sorry”. I’m still drunk.
Randomize
