I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
I don't want my vagina anymore.
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
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