you know what would be great? if dirt tasted like steak and could get you drunk.
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race
I was trying to be really smart and save 10 dollars for each cab there and back. ...so I ripped a $20 dollar bill in half.
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
Last night I got drunk on margaritas at an Irish pub and came home with only one shoe. I have to get my shit together.
You really know how to show Monday who's boss.
He stole me a cantaloupe and we drunkenly broke into a park and ate it on a bench with my pocket knife. I think i need to marry him
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
Randomize
