Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
We just FaceTimed and I put an Oreo in my vagina for him. Now he has to fly across the globe for me.
I am that special "drink water and be grateful I'm alive" kind of hungover
He was married to his college girlfriend for 20 years. Just give him the blow job he’s been fantasizing about since last century and he’ll be wrapped around your little finger
Randomize
