Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
she pooped in my shower. pooped. woke me up and said she thought she farted but it wasnt a fart i went back 2 sleep and found it hours later. no longer hooking up w chicks my moms age.
My tally is now official: I have been drunk every weekend since 2008. Cheers.
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
You'd think that a rotation of two 30 year old men could keep me satisfied... WHY ISN'T THERE A MAN THAT CAN KEEP UP WITH MY HEALTHY SEXUAL APPETITE?!
Randomize