there is a puppy in the bar... no really i didnt steal this one
I just ate a drumstick out of the garbage. I need a life coach.
operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
i'm about to be the still-drunkest person on the ellipticals
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
WHY WOULD YOU SWIPE RIGHT???!!!!!
The same reason I ordered and ate almost an entire pizza last night
are you listening to the theme from Jurassic Park whilst pooping?
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
Randomize
