But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
I was just standing there and then BOOM! She was attacking my face with her mouth.
I don't get it, man. She treated me like a sexual predator but treated you like a piece of meat.
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
Can I just say that you're probably one of my favorite people to have sex with and then eat hummus with at 3:45am?
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
Randomize
