How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
What part of i'm handcuffed to an oven do you not understand?
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
Randomize
