Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.. I just figured you were drunk and needed somewhere to crash, but your no where to be found. I'll I have is this corn dog. call me when you get this. I'm worried! --mom
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
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