Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
All I wanted to tell you is that I fucked a guy covered in fake blood, who circumcised himself.
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
These headphones make me feel like I'm sitting on John Mayers lap and he's singing just to me. I picture like a pitch black room with a single spotlight on us. Also, convinced Kyle to give me percocet soo.
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
Randomize
