I am full of burrito and curiosity
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
His best friend's cat died so we had a drunken burial ceremony on the side of his condo at 2am and I'm pretty sure if anyone gets ahold of the video feed from Martini Monday we're all fired.
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
And then I woke you by humping you to Lionel Ritchie.
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
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