Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
I'm at work, and just realized I the beer smell I keep getting random whiffs of is my bra. I fail at life.
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
I just sent an "I'm sorry I forged a prescription in your name" email. It was one of the more awkward things I've done this week.
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
Just in case you forgot, you puked all over your boss house, pissed on his coffee table, and were then thrown out by his wife
Invitations to sext will not be acknowledged until 10 a.m. EST. Thank you for your cooperation. We apologize for any inconvenience.
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