it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
dont you remember the bouncer yelling at you while you were trying to piss?
no. why was the bouncer in the bathroom?
he wasn't. neither were you.
i found a twelve pack under my bed. and a six pack in my closet. I'm like a fucking alcoholic squirrel.
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
I am literally watching TV with sunglasses on because the brightness hurts my hangover
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
Do you think it's a bad sign of the outcome of the pregnancy test I'm about to take that I was eating a fudgsicle on the way into the drugstore? Would it make worse to tell you I also bought a big ass bag of Cornnuts?
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