break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
I just met a guy from Australia at the bar. I asked him what it was like down under and he told me if I went home with him he'd let me find out. I love Australians.
i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
a chick just tried to cover her fart by sneezing. it didn't work
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
No, just kidding. But your faith in me to throw a lesbian bridal shower makes me think I an pull it off. To the LGBT bar!
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
Did I fall last night?
I wouldn't call it falling as much as you tried to lay on the sidewalk and proceeded to hit it face first.
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
You took a bite of the snack wrap put it down and fell asleep and when you woke up ten minutes later you asked how it got there, dipped it in soda ate it and fell back asleep.
Randomize
