we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
They finally caught us and banned us forever, but it was worth it because we didn't have to pay for light bulbs for at least 3 years.
So you stole light bulbs, from your favorite bar, and got banned, and you're happy?
Look we couldnt pay for light bulbs and ramen, and you can't eat light bulbs or cook in the dark. Win - win.
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
I have already been up, showered, had a cup of coffee brought to me, added a little rum to cure the hangover, had sex and kicked him out and it's only 1pm. Successful day so far.
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
You can't say that. Only if you have peed on the side of the highway in daylight while signing Christmas songs can you say that.
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
TSA doesn’t allow handcuffs in carryon bags. Super fun they confiscated them in front of my boss and coworker.
Randomize
