My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
your goal of the night was to unlock your iPhone with your nipple. You're going places.
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.
Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
I feel sorry for the person who's phone number is 704-1776 cause from now on I'm giving that number to every guy I never wanna talk to again. Happy Independence Day
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
He once bought a dildo and put fifty dollars and a happy anniversary note in the battery compartment I gotta lock him down while hes available
Attention, i sprayed windex on me to disguise the scent of sex and regret off my clothes from last night
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
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