he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
I'm at a party with that guy you made out with on new years. He remembers your name!
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
oh sorry. I thought "boat" was code for "penis"
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
The cop was yelling at you as you layed on the sidewalk and you wouldn't take him seriously cause you thought it was some dude in a cop costume.
Doc gave me something stronger than Xanax. The pills have your last name imprinted on them. This cannot be coincidence.
Food poisoning on first date... Still rode the mechanical bull like a champ
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
But I'll just tell people it was a bar fight... Sounds a lot better than "well I was drunk and alone and eating Special K naked in my bed"
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
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