If Curt Schilling could pitch a game with that blood-filled sock... if Tiger Woods won the 2008 US Open with a torn ligament, then I'd be an embarrassment to the human race if I couldn't manage to at least jerk him off even if I was still crying after he put it in my butt.
If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
My drug dealer just made me a sandwich at the local deli. Starting to question his street cred.
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
You know it's a good Halloween party when a guy wearing a light-up sombrero offers you blow.
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Randomize
