Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
20 yrs from now I just want to barge in her house and yell at her kids, "I took ur moms virginity!"
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
A lesson I learned in the hospital....when you masturbate while attached to a heart monitor, it scares the nurses a lot.
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
he actually said the words "do you want to pet the lizard?" with a straight face as he unzipped his pants
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
Damn why is there no horse blowjob emoji?
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
I should get an "I gave blood today" type of sticker, but instead it would say "I went balls deep today"
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
I woke up in a warehouse with the words “Property of Adam” written on my chest in frosting.
Randomize
