my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
He tried to slow-dance with me in bed. IN BED.
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
I punched the bar tender after he cut me off. Hopped over the bar and made my own drink. That's how I got tazed
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
Just got hit on by a 28-year old, quadraplegic, triple-cancer-survivor redneck. Now updating bucket list to meet newfound standards.
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
Randomize
