I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
Just looked at my call log. I called Planned Parenthood at 3am.
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
I found my phone outside under the leaves by the curb. What the fuck did I do last night
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm.
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
You straight up wore me out. This should be a proud moment for you. It's almost like my penis is asking for a timeout. But not really
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
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