Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
I think its safe to assume that the 40yr old undergraduate with purple and pink in her hair and a tattoo of the eiffel tower above her ass crack has never actually been to Paris...
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
he got all sad that i was going to fuck his roommate, so i just asked him if it would make him feel better if I let him motor boat me. i am such a saint.
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
Yeah man... I ordered donuts, drank wine, and cried to a movie with Seth Rogen in it. Do you really think I have my shit together?
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
Randomize