just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
don't give me stepladders when i'm stoned.. i woke up to a slice of balogna nailed to the ceiling
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
That chick keeps sending eggplant emojis
Welcome to dating in the digital age. Better catch up now that you’re divorced
and eggplant is code for penis. It means she’s DTF. Go get her tiger!!!
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