God I can't wait to have my phone textbombed every night
we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door
and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
Your roommate was biting my friend last night. It was weird.
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
We are gonna be 90 years old in wheelchairs at the nursing home sitting at computers poking each other and waiting for the other to die so we will have the last facebook poke.
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
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