i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
Fyi when u order four mini bottles of scotch on a 45 min flight. The flight attendants jaw drops to the floor.
Found a guy passed out on the coffee table with a thong duct taped from ear to ear.
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
I am so dumb. I made a mistake and let him get away.
Don't worry, there are other penises in the sea.
Thanks, mom.
Randomize