I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
I'm so hungover i just sang the alphabet to see if "Z" comes after "W"
Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
Also, do you think i could get away with finishing my vodka cranberry from last night at work if i put orange juice in it? Serious question.
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
Randomize
