Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
my sisters under your porch take her home
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
There are parrots here and they're headbanging to the music. There's also a clown and a pit bull that can jump onto tables. Too high for this shit.
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
Don't judge them too harshly for getting kicked out of a strip club. Happens to the best of us.
You are the coolest girlfriend ever.
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
Randomize
