im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
Sitting in my car feasting on the spoils of Taco Bell as Donna Lewis croons "I love you, always forever." A more perfect moment will never exist.
Needless to say, I woke up on the bathroom floor wearing the dress that my mom wore to the wedding. That open bar stole my soul.
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
I took a vibrator for a weekend with my parents instead of a boyfriend. I obviously have my life together.
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
Randomize
