Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
I gave you a 45 minute blowjob. You were inside me for 3 minutes. I'm going to need you to get your shit together.
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
Dislocated my knee during sex, popped it back in and kept going. Then got simpathy chipotle out of it too.
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
Honestly, this social distancing bullshit is giving me a good excuse for drinking alone.
Randomize