btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
when i told him i was pregnant with his baby he texted me 'congradulations'
i pity the fetus.
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
Dude you ate toast sprawled out on my kitchen floor and said "this is comfy". No more day drinking.
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
Randomize
