The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
"Friendship bread", "how to get period stains out of cement", and "elephant bereavement" are all in my recent google history. Whatever shit that was last night really did me in...
Just realized I probably only have one more wedding where I can say I fucked the bride.
This isn't a because its valentines day booty call, it's a because your cock is phenomenal booty call that happens to be on valentines day..
For future reference.... When you take a beer out of a 6pack... You don't insert your phone as a substitute.
He flew in from NY last night. We had sex in the back of my car in the airport parking lot and then he fed me fresh Babka (from Breads Bakery) as I drove him home. I can't decide if I love him or Babka more.
He's tiny, but ripped. Like a stacked hobbit. He's going to pull our sexy, crime-fighting rickshaw.
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
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