So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
I feel compelled to tell you that I woke up this morning and found an entire corn on the cob in my purse. Ive decided not to question my drunken behavior anymore, and to just accept it as my lifestyle.
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
And here I am, playing fetch with my cat at two in the morning.
Randomize
