You were right. It hurts to walk today.
a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
So I found a skull ring inside me this morning. I'm assuming its yours, so I'll leave it in my mailbox for you - it looks expensive.
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
Apparently it's illegal to hit pedestrians with coke cans... But the cop complimented my arm. That's a win in my book.
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
come pick your gf up from my house. she's sitting in the fridge and hissing at the cat to let her eat the potatoes. btw i dont have a cat
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