Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
In two separate occurrences, I could have avoided getting my heart broken, and chlamydia, all with a left swipe.
He called me in the middle of the night to ask my shoe size. Apparently big feet would make me an unsatisfactory third for the threesome.
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
I just brought her a lipstick taser. So just remember that the next time you get smart with her
no dude he sent me cemetery flowers, i know it. they are half dried out roses in the shape of a cross, seriously. and he is not religious. so he robbed a freaking grave site for me. am i like an accessory to grave robbing now??
damnit this is what you get for dating guys with neck tattoos
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
Randomize
