I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
I have a cup of vodka in my bathroom with a straw in it. Yes, I am ready for this bikini wax.
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
Oh trust me, i am. It's like magic, but instead of rabbits and doves its orgasms- He just keeps pulling them out of nowhere.
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
Your cock deserves a montage
You stole my crutches last night at the bar, the DJ had to ask for them to be returned
You've slept with someone mentioned in the NY Times, that officially makes you the most famous person I know.
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
