i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
I bought a police grade breathalyzer on ebay at 4:37 am. At least I'm a responsible drunk.
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
I'm going to get old and fat one day... probably pretty soon and I'm not going to have any pictures to show to my cats of what I once looked like.
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
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