why wash my dick in the morning if you're not there to suck it?
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
I'm going to start charging you rent if you keep leaving your random conquests on my living room couch the morning after
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
Randomize
