C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
Mowing drunk should be an olympic sport...
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
Apparently when the cops arrived I was standing over him in the bathroom yelling, get the fuck up you piece of shit. Beer still in hand.
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
I swear to God, if you have sex in my bed one more time you're gonna start paying rent
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
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