doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
He and I are in a competition of who can sleep with the most people at work. We're tied at two. I could win this if they'd stop hiring damn straight girls.
My butthole probably tastes like a Cinnabon right now
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
On my way home I saw a car that had "MOVE OVER PLZ" emblazoned across the windshield backwards, so people could see it in their rearview mirror
If I ever drive for Lyft or Uber I'm definitely gonna do that
Randomize
