marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
It took me 40.8 seconds to take a dump at her house, I know because I timed myself.
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
So, I'm about to take my pants off in the Walmart parking lot, when am old lady parks next to me. I'm all the way in the back next to the semis. What the hell?
Now when you said you'd never sleep with me, did you really mean never on a Monday or never without handcuffs or a blindfold or never on a airplane or never without lots of booze? Cus never is a pretty strong word.
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
I'm eating chicken wings naked and hungover at 10am... Happy bday to me
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
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