I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
Just got an Edible Arrangement my parents sent me for my birthday. Time to marinate some fruit in vodka.
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
Let me get this straight. You stopped mid foreplay to shave your legs?
Um yeah. I wasn't about to shave them if nothing was happening. And I have HBO. It's not like he's the victim here.
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
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