Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
Is it weird I updated my facebook status from my phone while I had explosive diarrhea in my boss's private bathroom?
That would be awkward if he commented on your status
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
I like that most of our conversations somehow end in us having sex for the good of our country
Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
Ew. He is mine. We all know that if he has a mid-life crisis and decides to sleep with a student, I AM THAT STUDENT. She's not friends with him on FB. Reassuring.
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
Great. I broke up with him before he could like my selfie, now I'm down a like.
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