all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
I was preparing to do my walk of shame shirtless, but then I found my sweater, wallet and keys neatly piled under a tree in the park.
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
There was no eligible dick at the ER. I'm pissed. Looks like "Searching for Strange at the Local Free Clinic" is a no go for the name of our first full length album. On the other hand, I got a dilaudid shot and I no longer feel like I have the worst bladder infection of my life.
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
Randomize