Want updates from david's night out drinking? If so text back DAVID to this number. Std rates apply.
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
You have not lived until you've puked on your sequined UGGs in the Rite Aid parking lot while going to buy emergency contraceptives.
Zak is like the Picasso of masterbatory texts
I made that picture of you my lock screen. So I've just been standing around at work licking my phone all day.
I'll have a whole suitcase of emergency bacon with me obviously
How drunk was I last night?
You tried to unlock a door with your dick. That drunk.
Not the explanation for the cock bruise that I was looking for.
Randomize
