i feel like the song jizz in my pants was made for him.
apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
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