I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
Randomize
