i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
Just thought you should know the man you CHOSE to father your children has once again fallen asleep on the toilet. thanks mom
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
I just walked across town, stoned off my ass and barefoot in 35 degree weather for him to bust five mins in and then apologize 13 times as I got dressed.
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
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