they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
I left my Thanksgiving family dinner puking in my hands from the worst hangover in the world
I just found scrambled eggs in my shower. Thanks for that, asshole.
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
Better safe and shitfaced than hungover and in need of another surgery.
Randomize
