I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
someone get that fucking seahorse.
he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
Dude i have a 6th sense for when bagel bites are ready.
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
So he called his lawyer from the bar to confirm the cost of hitting the douchebag before flooring him. I respect his planning skills.
Randomize