You need to come get me. I'm pretty sure that gravity's going to crush my brain
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
That's totally the Emoji for "just ran into some girl who knows I know she had an abortion"
This is literally engraved into my seat "Need crack?" And then there's a number. This isn't real.
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
Charging my vibrator at work. Pray to god I don't forget it!!!
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
Randomize
