dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?
Ever have the mailman look at you like youre a chronic masterbator. I have.
i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
just drunkenly made mashed potatoes at midnight. what have you done for your calorie intake lately?
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
Are you alive? Cause this is my official "im actually alive" text.
Randomize
