I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
I tried to gradually lead her into my room but she wouldn't stop crying and quoting memoirs of a geisha
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
afterward, he apologized, hugged me, and then gave me a granola bar and said “this is my apology gift.”
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
Do you remember me making bird noises at the bartender with some guy at the bar last night?
The maid moved your bed and found almost 40 used condoms and wrappers. She just looks at me and says "Dave?"
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
Randomize
