Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
This beer is not sobering me up at all
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
I think the duck is in my room. You have no idea how much worse a duck makes a hangover
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
Its like drunk me is Oprah except instead of a car everyone's award is seeing my boobs
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
Randomize
