Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
I can't tell if I'm hungover or if my cat just knocked the lamp on my face
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
These muscle relaxers obviously don't work because I'm harder than a fucking diamond.
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
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