Swine flu. Run for my life!
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
Go christen that room with your naked body.
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
My friend just got engaged and I'm setting vibrators on fire.
Your life rocks...
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
i just woke up from a 4 hour nap, still drunk, to make mac n cheese.
Randomize
