i just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled "dibs!"...
Just found out that I was singing john legend songs as I threw up last night. Quality.
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
I'm trying to convey to the smoking hot Spanish cleaning lady at work that I want to bone her but I think it's getting lost in translation. How do you say "blowjob" in Spanish?
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
Randomize
