I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
No, it's cool, I just bounced from the hospital. I was...talking to a security guard, maybe?
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
We'll never be able to grow apart now. You can't look at a stranger & say "Yea I ate goldfish crackers off his dick." & just be casual about that.
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
Hot date tonight for the first time in months and I just cut my dick shaving. PRAY FOR ME.
I never truly understood the phrase ball is life until I started having to balance NBA finals and all these men with balls i'd like to handle.
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
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