Quick, to the slutcave!
Why do guys in porn never have boxers on?
better question: why do you always text me when you're watching porn
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
I think that's the first time I've heard someone say "this is the safest way of doing things" while holding half a gallon of jagermeister
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
I recently had a rabies scare because I thought putting socks on my hands to pick up a squirrel that got in my house was a good idea.
He ate me out while I finished season 1 of Stranger Things. If that's not a modern day relationship goal, then I don't know what is.
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
Randomize
