go do what you do best...puke behind churches
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
I just learned that your liver regrows itself every 2 months. Best news I've heard all week.
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
So I was putting on a condom and looked to my right to not make eye contact, she said did you just look at the American flag while putting that on. I said this one's for Team USA.
She's cool and all but if she eats my food again I'm gonna fucking drop kick her ass. No one touches my lunchables. NO ONE.
He snapchated me a photo of his penis with the caption "it needs a home".
I love that my family celebrates every holiday with a joint. Chanukah? Mazel-juana! Easter? What's more spring than the color green? Election day? What better way to celebrate democracy in action than medical pot?
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
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