but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
just found a someones bra in what seems to be a mix of pickle juice and vodka in my fridge. Who was over here lately?
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
I damn near set my vagina on fire. WHILE The Flaming Lips played in the background. Intensely apropos.
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
"Because this is an ongoing legal matter" is how his morning after sex text began. So...
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
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