Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
Found our threesome girl. She says I'm pretty. She doesn't know I'm pregnant. Yet. Think we can pull it off?
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
I WILL PAPERCUT YOUR URETHRA YOU DO NOT STEAL A MANS SECOND BIG MAC
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
Randomize
