but his dog just died...ill send him an edible arrangement or a 6 pack or something
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
Randomize
