I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
Sorry about all the noise last night. We were trying to break bottles by kicking soccer balls at them. If it's any consolation, there's shattered glass and blood all over my kitchen.
Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
Totally just locked myself outside of my house, in my robe, with the fedex man and a box of sex toys. Not my week.
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
Randomize
