I can tuck mytits in my pants
Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
Know what's awesome? Flying a mini helicopter while you shit.
Ummmmm okay let's be incredibly straightforward. Hi there. My bed's at half capacity this evening. How'd you like to fill it up?
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
Still drunk on my morning "run" which has turned into a walk. Just burped fireball
Those nachos came to me in a dream
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
Randomize
