I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
my phone is just a graveyard for last nights mistakes. at least it's giving me hints as to where i was though, i'm like carmen sandiego
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
Last year I got a dildo in the mail on my birthday. Today it was just a credit card bill. Sadface.
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
We smell like vodka and hangover
Randomize
