i just spent an hour trying to convince my blind date that star wars is better than star trek. help me
Too bad my thesis topic isn't "defining a hot mess: a study in drinking, smoking and other bad life decisions."
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
Halfway through he got an idea for a short story so he wrote it in magic marker on my boobs. Yeah, he's a keeper.
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
I thought this guy walking back to the dorms with his black laundry bag was walking a black flamingo I'm not even kidding I had to take a break on a bench after that.
You're my favorite person
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
This Asian instant coffee I found in ur kitchen is like crack. Who knew I could feel my heart beating in my asshole after one cup of this happiness.
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
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