How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
I scissor kicked a one legged man last night.
He was trying to put me in handcuffs.
You have my attention.
LMAO!!! just remembered you said this to me last night. "sometimes you post too many Jesus tweets. It's not that that's really bad... But I roll my eyes and you should know that."
I was drunk but it's true
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
just licked whipped cream off some model's nipple... just coming clean for when the pic gets on instagram because i am not untagging that shit
I gave Sophia a glitter bomb for Christmas. And before you ask is because she pooped in my cat litter box and then drank all my liquor and didn't pay me back and refuses to acknowledge that she had any wrongdoing. So she gets to clean up glitter for the next 10 years.
Randomize
