I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
it turns out vodka filled condoms arent that funny
Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
Woke up. Made a pizza. Burnt it. Going back to bed cuz today sucks
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
Change your flight to Denver. That's where my penis is.
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
His hands were made for my vagina.
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
I also love my swipe to text changed a singular vagina to a plural vaginas. like my phone somehow knows I secretly want 2 vaginas
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
I don't know what else is in your wedding gift, but I just pulled out a pair of handcuffs in front of her grandmother.
Also a whip and a blindfold. Don't be a bitch, enjoy it!
if having to see my ex’s dick once in a while is the price I pay to the universe for making my life go a little smoother, I’ll take it
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