Slept with that guy from the bar last night. Only got 2 1/2 hours of sleep. Eyes were so bloodshot this morning that the principal sent me home b/c she thought I had pink eye. God I love teaching elementary school...
At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
Randomize
