Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
I can't tell if your life is amazing or needs reevaluation when "did I get hit with a nightstick" is a legitimate question.
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
He brought me bullshit flowers and a bullshit apology. Even shrek did more than that for Fiona. And he's an ogre. Does this not say anything about him?
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
No more. You can't have nice things, and vodka is a nice thing.
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
Your loyalty to the Redskins reminds me how no matter how much I disappoint you, you will still always be rooting for me.
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
Randomize
