so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
He offered to take my unemployed self out for drinks, but I really just want him to buy me the Beyoncé album
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
sex in a hospital.. check
My mom is selling her car. I'm secretly relieved I won't ever have to tell her about that time you puked in it
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
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