I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
Just had a girl agree to give me a blowjob in exchange for wearing my jacket during class. Talk about successful negotiations. Best day of my life
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
Just heard this lady walk by on her phone saying "did everyone orgasm?"
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
I'm pretty sure that if I didn't have a gerbil with a shotgun in my uterus I would think i was knocked up cuz all I want is hot sauce
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
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