you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
Hey. Whatever time u wake up let me know Ur alive. I need my vegas partner... I don't think they let u take corpses on a plane.
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
I found his Linkedin the day after he created it. Too stalkerish or just right?
You are a magnificent human being. I love you from head to toe. This wine is DELICIOUS.
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
You need to get laid. You spent last night stumbling through the club pulling couples apart and telling them to leave room for Jesus.
How drunk do you think I'll be by the time I get home?
I just watched you drink a whole glass of wine through a Twizzler. Pretty drunk.
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
Randomize
